Are you a victim of narcissistic abuse? You might be and not even realise it, so to begin with let’s take a look at what narcissism actually is.
How to spot narcissistic abuse
Narcissists are not always easy to spot in the first instance. They often appear to be very charming and alluring; warm, generous, amusing and entertaining, even loving. It’s only once you’ve been bamboozled by them and drawn into their game that you start to notice their bad behaviour. All narcissists by definition tend to be selfish and self-centred. What the rest of their behaviour looks like depends on the type of narcissist you’re dealing with.
The Grandiose or Malignant Narcissist
- Needs all the attention on them
- Prone to fits of temper and rage
- Expects special treatment
- Treats others with contempt (unless the narcissist wants something from them)
- Tells blatant lies
- Never accepts any blame or responsibility
- Uses bullying, coercion and emotional blackmail to get their own way
The Covert or Fragile Narcissist
- Gains attention by playing the victim
- Always worse off than others
- Will do almost anything to get other people running around them
- Doesn’t care how much inconvenience they cause
The common denominator with narcissists is that it’s all about them all the time. Often that might not appear to be the case, but narcissists are masters of manipulation; experts at turning on the charm to get what they want. They can keep it up too, as long as it’s in their interest to do so, but the moment they’ve got what they want they’re no longer interested, they no longer care, and it’s all about them again. In reality it always was, they were just faking the warmth and niceness to get what they wanted, or to maintain the popular perception of what a wonderful person they are.
Does this sound familiar?
Is this your partner, ex, parent or a work colleague or boss? Are you baffled by their apparently random changes of mood, switching in a moment from warmth and kindness to spiteful rage or stone cold indifference?
Whatever your relationship with the narcissist it’s an exhausting experience that can leave you feeling emotionally battered and bruised. I can help you recover from narcissistic abuse and coach you on how to keep yourself safe. Just email me, or call or text me on 07855352947. Why not do it right now?